June 8, 2013
So I question these days if I’ll even share this blog. I know for sure that the reason no one else has joined the adventure is because Spirit was protecting me. I share really private thoughts on this website.
But I question if I’ll ever share this stuff at all.
Maybe it’ll be edited in some way to put into a book form.
There are so many triggers throughout these posts and so many opportunities for people to judge me and hate me. That’s not good when you are in the spotlight.
It totally is like a diary.
And marryblaire.com blogs weren’t like a diary. There was one level of separation. I wrote knowing people were reading it. I also don’t think — well I know — I didn’t have the strong emotions to weed through — to heal through — like I had to here.
But here I’ve definitely shared more vulnerably because it was always a private website. I knew who was reading it…
But I’ve always at times felt insecure or just really vulnerable with someone reading it.. unsure of how they would react. Fear of people not liking me.
So now I just really don’t know. And I know I don’t have to know at this point…. but it does make me think, when things get busy with my career and I start being in the spotlight, would I take down the option for people to join here?
The concern is that this is what I created for people at a lower price point to work with me.
And now I would have to create something new?
But this is too premature. Silly to talk or think about it. Just write. Write for my benefit. To document my journey — and boy it has been a huge transformation and then deal with those questions about what to do with it later.