April 18, 2013

Since we keep it real on this blog, I”ll let you know what’s been going on.

I’ve been feeling a bit hopeless, defeated the last few days.

Not really in the mood to work.

Although I did pump out that video about the Boston Marathon —

And I’m sure I’ve done other things — ohh, I did a book related thing which was helpful — but overall I’ve just been dragging my feet lately.

Annoyed.  Pissed.  Just really sad.

I build up all this energy, get really excited, hopeful, inspired about the changes.  I can see them, feel them and really feel rocking and rolling with it — but then I guess this week I bottomed out, in a way.

Just felt hopeless.  Tired.  Exhausted.

I laid around at times.  Not really feeling like watching TV or doing anything.  Wasting the day away.  I hate when that happens.  At least get your ass up and do some artwork, but I didn’t feel like that either.

So I just hung around.

Then I saw that snake the other day… and it seems like there have been dead animals surfacing while on my walks with Magic.

I noticed it a few days ago, and thought it was a sign, but wanted to ignore it – cause it was a frog.

I was so excited about all the frogs I’ve been seeing — and the message about “I’m leaping forward” — when I saw the dead frog, I didn’t know what to think.  And kind of didn’t think it was a good sign.  It worried me.  Made me question it, so I just ignored it.

But then the next day, Magic pulled me to see a dead bird.

Okay, I started to pay attention.

And then just now, there was a dead oppossum in the most random place on our walk.

Okay, I got it now.

Transition.  Change.  End of a cycle.

Okay, this is good.

I’ll see where this takes me.

PS:  I’ve also been upset about my book — how to market it to agents, not getting clear guidance about what to do.  I think they say to just leave it as -is.  Unhappy about where I’m living, not sure where to move — desires to be in LA, but not 100% sure I’ll like the people out there… money stuff — student stuff, etc.

But I know that’s how it goes.

I just had a major breakthrough with upgrading my students and this is the adjustment period.  Be easy with myself…