April 18, 2013
Since we keep it real on this blog, I”ll let you know what’s been going on.
I’ve been feeling a bit hopeless, defeated the last few days.
Not really in the mood to work.
Although I did pump out that video about the Boston Marathon —
And I’m sure I’ve done other things — ohh, I did a book related thing which was helpful — but overall I’ve just been dragging my feet lately.
Annoyed. Pissed. Just really sad.
I build up all this energy, get really excited, hopeful, inspired about the changes. I can see them, feel them and really feel rocking and rolling with it — but then I guess this week I bottomed out, in a way.
Just felt hopeless. Tired. Exhausted.
I laid around at times. Not really feeling like watching TV or doing anything. Wasting the day away. I hate when that happens. At least get your ass up and do some artwork, but I didn’t feel like that either.
So I just hung around.
Then I saw that snake the other day… and it seems like there have been dead animals surfacing while on my walks with Magic.
I noticed it a few days ago, and thought it was a sign, but wanted to ignore it – cause it was a frog.
I was so excited about all the frogs I’ve been seeing — and the message about “I’m leaping forward” — when I saw the dead frog, I didn’t know what to think. And kind of didn’t think it was a good sign. It worried me. Made me question it, so I just ignored it.
But then the next day, Magic pulled me to see a dead bird.
Okay, I started to pay attention.
And then just now, there was a dead oppossum in the most random place on our walk.
Okay, I got it now.
Transition. Change. End of a cycle.
Okay, this is good.
I’ll see where this takes me.
PS: I’ve also been upset about my book — how to market it to agents, not getting clear guidance about what to do. I think they say to just leave it as -is. Unhappy about where I’m living, not sure where to move — desires to be in LA, but not 100% sure I’ll like the people out there… money stuff — student stuff, etc.
But I know that’s how it goes.
I just had a major breakthrough with upgrading my students and this is the adjustment period. Be easy with myself…