January 5, 2013

In the 21st century that we’re in, healers, teachers, leaders have email.

They have Facebook.  They have Twitter.

You can access anyone, anytime.

What does that mean for someone’s business?  Are they to reply to everyone’s “reaching out” attempts?  When does the work stop?  When is it okay to ignore someone’s email and just simply press “delete”

This has always been a thought in my mind.

When I work with my healers, I have always emailed them in between sessions.  I liked it.  I was curious.  I was eager.  Maybe also I was trying to get extra help.  More “bang” for my buck.  Pushing boundaries.

I firmly believe that people who have had their boundaries stepped all over when they were a child, then turn into people who step all over other people’s boundaries.

This is what I do.  This is what I’ve done to my healers.  This is still what I do.

I’ve blogged about this before.

Some healers I hold back.  I respect their space and respect to bring questions and comments to our sessions together.

Some have mentioned this to me… to bring questions to sessions.  Others, mostly others, have just ignored the emails I sent.  Many replied as well.. and also, made me wonder, how are they giving this much support for free?

Of course we all make decisions for ourselves on how we want to proceed with this.

If I was working as a therapist, most likely clients would not have my email address.  They would have to schedule a session to talk about what was bothering them.

Since I am a healer and have my email all over the place, students do have my email address.  It’s how I communicate with people.  How I send them forms.  It makes things easier.

But I need to honor where I am.  My desires.

I don’t like answering emails in between people’s sessions.  I have struggled with this for so long.  Thought it was rude.  Mean.  Thought that students wouldn’t like me, call me names.  Thought I wasn’t being there for people.

Hey… it’s only a little question anyway, right?

For me, there are no little questions.  Things always turn into discussions, for me and for my students.  There’s always a follow up.  Or at least, usually.

It irritates me when I get an email.

Interesting, how I wanted feedback and wanted people replying on my Facebook, but now I realize how it puts me in an uncomfortable position… do I reply or don’t I?  I don’t reply I feel guilty.  I reply I feel annoyed.  It’s a lose-lose situation.

Things are working themselves out with this.  Why? They have to.  I am laying down boundaries.  More accepting of myself and my desires (or irritations).

My irritation is telling me something….

I don’t want to work when I’m not getting paid for it….

And emails in between sessions, whether a HI or a QUICK QUESTION… or whatever, ends up being effort and time and energy and you multiply that by even 10 or 20 people and it’s a whole bunch of time that is unaccounted for in business.

I like getting paid for my time.  Who doesn’t?

Most people understand this.

When you’re in a personal service business like I am.. again, with people accessing you through email, Facebook, Twitter – people expect responses.  They expect you to be “on call” – maybe they won’t put it like that… but people will get mad, irritated, offended, if you don’t reply.  It’s just not right.

But I need to honor this in myself.  I know my anger / irritation is telling me something.

It’s telling me to lay down firmer boundaries.  Be clearer.  With love…