June 18, 2013

Last night I question if I got any sleep at all.  Lots of tossing and turning – and lots of thinking.

About my TV show.

I feel like I was rehearsing in my head all night.  Or something like that.  Running over things, daydreaming, working out how it will all happen, psyching myself up, pretending that the next day I was to shoot the first day of my show.

It was exciting, but then got old, since I just wanted to rest.

I’ve been having some restless sleeps lately.

So all day I’ve been a bit tired.  Not really productive.  Not really on the mood to fix up my website like I was yesterday.

Cleaning up all the pages, putting into a flashier format has been taking some work.

I feel inspired now – after I just saw something – to rework some payment plans and again add more “real” talk.

I’ve realized over the past few days my website was a bit stiff.

Now I think I’m more relaxed into who I am — as a healer, teacher, leader.  Human self + Spiritual teacher combined.  Paving the way of how I want to be, who I am.


So I finally took a nap around 4PM.  Totally passed out.  Exhausted.

And then I woke up and figured I’d read some TV resources I have or research I did before but didn’t have the chance to read.

And now I’m realizing that I need to do more research (possibly) about the different networks…

But more importantly practice my pitch.

This is something Spirit was walking me through the other day, but this needs to be tighter, snazzier.  I need to catch their interest right away.

I’m also feeling a teenie weenie bit overwhelmed, like wow, naive stuff.  Here I am expecting to hear back from these big ballers — and who am I?

While all these people are hardcore preparing for their pitching meetings and trying to get meetings.

It’s like, “Blaire, do you realize how competitive this all is — are you naive”

But maybe that’s working in my favor, cause I feel it in my heart — and I don’t want to get involved with the stats of what actually gets on air and how hard it is or is not to get in touch with these people.

I know I’m supposed to speak to them.

And I’m focused on getting in touch.

I’ll have my game face on tomorrow.

Praying my guides and AM —angels and all my Spirit family and friends help me with this.  I know they are — but I feel like I should be praying and meditating 24/7 to get this to happen?

Is this what I need to do?

… only if you’re feeling fear — resistance.  That’s what wipes it away and allows you to receive.

Just keep going Blaire.

Keep going.

I do want to add here how amazed I was yesterday when I pulled my usual angel/guide/AM cards and got TWO CARDS with PRIORITIES — to focus on my priorities, which to me meant I was successful in reaching out to so many TV execs yesterday.

I feel like these days I can feel the energy of when there are openings — and key times for me to act — and I MUST do it at those times.

Like also yesterday, I spoke to one tv exec’s assistant and she was like call at 4:45PM – he’ll be back from lunch then (1:45 in LA) — and I was watching the clock.

And Spirit kept telling me CALL, CALL, CALL

But I was waiting cause it wasn’t time yet

And they were saying CALL CALL CALL

and I think I may have missed that slot.

When I picked up the phone — the phone said 5PM.  Damnit.  How was it that all my clocks in my house were off yesterday.  I totally forgot to check the time against the phone clock.

I was checking it off my stove.. my microwave (and we have been having power outages that make the clock reset) — and my computer clock has been off for awhile.

So I may have missed that slot.  Clearly Spirit knew what time it was.  LOL.

But I left a message.  A cheery one and I think it was good.

I think I will go follow up with him tomorrow.

I’ll practice my pitch and “reasoning” tonight outside while I walk Magic.

That’s when I do all my thinking and practicing these days… outside with nature — Spirit and nature helping me.  I just chat it up as I’m walking around.

I really want this.  I hpe I’m not being totally unrealistic and … well, that’s ridiculous.  Just keep going for your heart.

I’m under the expectation that this is all going to happen this week.  I’m so hungry for it.

I also think that’s the way you need to be.

I need this.

I want this.

I want this all now.

I can’t help but laugh as I look around.  I’m also under the expectation that I’m going to get filmed driving out to LA, that this could be part of my show — that’s set to tape in a week or two.

Haha.  Am I delusional?  I need to stay focused and keep believing.

And with that said — today’s obviously a rest and process day, so I’m respecting that too.

It obviously was also a put a light under my ass day… in these later hours (wow, can’t believe it’s already 8PM, I haven’t eaten dinner yet) — since now I’m thinking — “you better be prepared to pitch and pitch well!!”

Well, thanks for the heads up.

I knew this.  I was practicing for this.  And then I think I neglected it.

So again, Spirit’s got my back.  Taking care of me.

Let’s do this!

“I’ve got Spirit Friends in high places…..”  (this makes me laugh.  I’ll write about what the joke is in my next post)

PS:  I’ve been eating such crap these past couple of days.  I could blame it on “that time of month” — but I also think it must have something to do with getting really close to my “Big Dream” / resistance / trying to dull my intuition (?) / shut down (?) ego sabotage (?)