March 11, 2013

Going through this stuff with my writing group, this time around, I’m doing it different.

I am sharing SOME of my passion and excitement about this author coming in to speak to us, but then I’ve totally pulled back.

Sitting in silence.  Having patience.

I still have my plans for that event, but I am remaining silent.  Letting them work out their quirks, if there are any, and being in peace.

I don’t have to let them in on my big plans right from the getgo.  I don’t need to hit them with “hey, I got this author to come speak to us” along with “and this is what I want to do when he’s here”

Of course, I think this is NO BIG DEAL and WHY NOT, it’s EXCITING.

But the email I got from the leader was 1 – excited and then 2 – asked some members of the group what they thought.

What they thought?

That’s fucking weird.

But he’s going through his own stuff… this has been something that has come to my awareness very clearly — that I see right through situations and I see people’s wounding and then I get annoyed and lack patience, when I see they (like this guy) are doing stuff out of fear and out of their wounding, rather than out of the highest good and happiness.  Out of light and love.

Again, it has to do with what I feel is his lack of leadership and lack of taking control of the group.  But whatever, I stepped out of all of that.

In my head I decided this, although I know it’s premature.

I will 1 – do what I want with having him in with this group


2 – if it gets drama ridden and I’m not feelin’ it, I will record an interview with this guy via sky or whatever and tape it.

I started getting really excited about connecting with this guy and having his interview — me being the interviewee on my YouTube channel.

What got me really excited was that this guy is just coming up now.  I like the idea of getting to him early, meeting him, talking with him, making connections with him — I know we are meant to meet, well obviously since we have. (through email)

This guy is going to be involved in a huge bestseller when it comes out in print in a few days — and his book is being turned into a movie.  This is huge.  Again, I’d love to have on the record an interview with him — and I will.

So either way, I’m sitting pretty.

Waiting until the leader of the group gets back to me again.  He said he wanted a few days to talk to members of the group.  Again, he’s always the one hearing everyone’s concern, wasting his time with all that shit and drama that goes on, but again, that’s his deal, not mine and I’ve stepped out of it.

So I wait.  Be patient.

I’m in a good position here.  I don’t need to look to him or the group for any approval or any “green light” — it’s in my hands.  Sitting pretty.  No need for me to be hyper vigilant.