April 3, 2013

So you can of course fill in the blank… giving time and attention to fans / readers / clients / followers / students / WHATEVER

What do you think about this?

And yes, this is another thought provoker that came to me from my interview with Hugh.

One teacher/ healer I know gives time on her FB message board to send prayers and some healing to people who post.  At events she also will spend time doing (mini) healings for people live.  Now some people see this as her giving time – a lot of her time – to her students, but I don’t.  I feel suspicious of her a lot of the time.  I don’t think she’s giving this time out of the love of her heart, I think she’s doing it to keep students coming back.  To keep them purchasing her workshops.  To keep them purchasing her products.  To keep them as her student.  Now is this wrong?  No, probably not.  All I’m saying is that I don’t see her as altruistic as everyone else seems to think she is.  I also notice that she is very protective of her time.  Not paying attention or even saying HI to people as she passes them in the hallway when she’s at events.  Quickly cutting people off to get off audios I hear her on where she’s interacting with people –  you know she’s watching the time.  So I have mixed feelings about this woman.  She gives time and attention to students, but there always feels like something sneaky going on there, not like she really loves her students like she claims she does.  This is just some observations.

There’s other personal teachers / healers I’ve had — some, like I’ve shared have emailed back to me at length, others wanted to keep everything to the phone sessions and that was it.

So what got me thinking about this was Hugh.  He’ll email, FB and tweet people – and he seems to be pretty cozy with people he meets.  Just our conversation as you can see, well we had a good vibe going.

So hmm… well, I think there’s a fine line here.  We spoke for 30 minutes after that interview ended.  I was surprised by this.  He started interviewing me 🙂 hehe.  He was curious about my personal life… which ties into my work.  We talked about meeting up, and I hope we will, because I like him and I feel like we could be collegeaus (sp?) and maybe friends.

So these people paid anywhere from 99 cents (ebook)  to 2.99 (ebook) to 15 for his book and he gives them what looks like to me a lot of attention.  (Maybe I’m mistaken though)

Although I did see him post that he would meet whoever for dinner before his book signing…. so that’s an hour+ with someone that you may not like.  Hmm?

So what I’m getting at here, is he made me think.

I tend to shut down the interactions.  My experience with giving time and attention to fans/followers/students is that it doesn’t give back to me.

I’m left most times feeling drained.

Feeling used.

Feeling unappreciated.

And what’s the point?

It gets me frustrated when people don’t continue doing their work. – their personal growth work – and again, I feel like I only want to be around people who do their work.

Just today I picked up the phone when it rang, a rarity with my work phone – and it was this guy who left a message earlier “Call me, I have a great opportunity for you… that’s all I’m going to say, call me.”


I didn’t call back.  Sounded like a telemarketer.  In any event, this was him calling back again.  I wasn’t going to pick up cause I knew it was bullshit, but I figured, hey, why not – I will.

Anyway, he starts off on this long story about his ex and blah blah blah relationship stuff… he’s psychic just like me… he found me / my site.. and he wants to give me the opportunity to help him.. but it’s a long story, etc, etc.



I told him to schedule an appointment.  He wanted to know the prices and details and I told him to visit my website.  Come on, this is a waste of time.  The guy was totally crazy.

So this is why I don’t give time and attention to my “fans” — how random.  How crazy.  How totally lunie.  I don’t have time for that.

So how is it that Hugh doesn’t feel concerned or annoyed at these people for wasting his time?

My thought is that it’s just online?

Only on Twitter or Facebook and he’s just responding to them once or twice?  That must be it.  That has to be it.  I’ll ask him when I see him.

I also think it has to do with the line of work I’m in.  I’m in a personal help situation.  Love help.  And people want to talk and talk about these things.  There’s no quick fix.  Even if I wanted to give that guy on the phone a quick response, I can’t.  He needs an hour and more devoted to his situation.  It’s totally crazy.  I’m just thinking about the guy going on and on and not making any sense on the phone.  Kind of funny.  Totally funny.

But in any event, Hugh still got me thinking.  My feeling on this is I give time and attention to my students when they come to events.  If someone has been working with me for awhile, then obviously we have more of a relationship.  I see myself promoting and working events with my students.  Bringing them into my work and vice versa.   That would be nice.  That’s my vision.

I also see us maybe doing house swaps or going out to dinners, or whatever, but again I think this is over time, as they grow and heal and as they step more into their roles as leaders, teachers, etc.  So, I still feel good about what I’m doing.

I also again, think Hugh and I have come from different backgrounds.  He comes from a place where people appreciate the time and attention he pays to them.  That people swoon over him.  People get excited when he talks to them.  THERE’S APPRECIATION.  And the people who I’ve attracted thus far aren’t like that.  They don’t swoon over me, they don’t appreciate me (although this is now changing with my students – they are getting louder with their appreciation) 🙂 and they tend to take advantage of my time and good intentions, so there has been a need to protect myself.  Again, doesn’t seem like Hugh has needed to do that.