This is my blog post from today. I wanted to share it cause I’m telling you the story in the next post of what happened today.
Today I go apartment shopping. I have been feeling the urge for quite sometime that I want to move. I question if I’ll even be staying in the state of Florida. Regardless, Spirit has been preparing me and told me today to go apartment shopping. I will see what’s out there and see where I am guided.
Now the reason why I emphasize the “you” giving them to yourself is because many times we look to others to give us our dreams.
This is what I did — of course unknowingly at the time, since that’s the way it goes when you step into awareness — was that this is what I did with my ex.
A big part of why I was attracted to him, amongst many things, was that we had similar dreams for our lives.
One of those things was to have homes all across the world, to travel and live in many different places.
This is a big dream and one where many (maybe) would say is “slightly crazy” or “delusional”if you look at how my life is now. I know this was the comments and feedback I’d get from “friends” and family members.
People don’t have to necessarily say negative comments to us about our dreams for us to get the vibe from them that they don’t support us. Us psychic and sensitive individuals can pick up on the energy behind the look, the comments, people’s thoughts — at least this is how my gift works.
So although I started keeping my dreams to myself, or not saying them as loud (dimming my light), or being cautious of who I shared them with… slowly I started doubting myself.
My parents were very big players in my life over the years, as they are for many of us, and what they say or don’t say has a very big influence – no matter if we say we’re not listening to them or caring about what they have to say, etc. Their thoughts about our dreams still effect us.
This can be deadly.
And for me, it kind of was.
I’m not blaming this all on them, but when others around you don’t believe that you can do anything you want in this world, it’s a very sad thing. It can slowly eat at you. Slowly bring you down. Make you doubt yourself. Make you insecure and yes, take away your power.
And this has been my experience. Sharing my big dreams, as I call them, with certain family members and knowing that they can’t relate or that they think I’m being crazy or dreaming too big or whatever. On the outside they may “pretend” to be encouraging, but I was always able to feel their true emotions.
So when I went out looking for my “One” — one of the things I wanted him to have was the big dream of having homes all across the world… just like me.
I figured with his dream combined with my dream that it would happen.
It would have more power.
I felt stronger with him by my side.
And how many of us do that? We seek out a partner who will give to us something that we should be and COULD BE giving to ourselves?
I would say that MOST of society lives like this. This is the unconscious way of looking for a partner. This is the programming that has been passed down to us, one generation after the next for years and years and 100s and 1,000s of years that has been passed down. This is the way that one looks for a partner when one is not healed.
And that was me.
I had done healing work – a lot – to get me to the point of attracting my “One” (he was my Soulmate, and then we transformed our relationship into a Twin Flame Partnership) — but there was more healing for me to do. He came into my life to help me go deeper. To help me heal more. All of my unconscious unhealthy patterns, being with him and the healing it brought helped me clear it all up, so that now I’m in a place of Enlightenment.
But back to the story…
He was attractive to me (one of the reasons) because he had this dream to have homes all across the world. He was attractive to me because he had already done this. He had already created the wealth for himself, he had already experienced earning his first million, he had already experience the luxury lifestyle.
All of this was appealing — because they are my dreams.
I want to experience that.
But the thing is, I was attracted to him… got in a relationship with him… married him… partly (again, there were many reasons here) — because again, I thought that when I was paired with him I would be able to experience this myself.
By being with him, I would be able to experience MY DREAMS.
I am consciously repeating things here, because I am guided to so you get the awareness and healing on the deeper levels I am sharing.
I partnered with him because at the core of it I did not have the faith, the courage, the belief, the self esteem, the confidence to GET THESE DREAMS MYSELF.
I thought I needed someone else in my life to support me to get these dreams.
To support me in living this lifestyle.
Heck, if they didn’t happen for me — by me doing them — well, at least I would experience them because I was with him.
He would be my golden ticket.
The golden ticket to living the lifestyle I have always dreamed of.
But no. That’s not the way for me.
Maybe some people can live this way for many years. Maybe for their whole lives. Getting THEIR DREAMS by being associated / partnered up / married to their partners.
Maybe they don’t need to learn how to do it themselves.
Maybe they have different lessons to learn. Or this is a lifetime for them to not truly know their power.
But for me, I’m grateful that it is.
This is the lifetime for me to truly experience my power.
To know that I am powerful with or without a man.
It is in MY POWER to make these things happen.
In this lifetime, I don’t need to be the “weak” female who supports or hides behind her husband in order to make him a success. I don’t need to be the “weak” female, who really is not weak at all, but instead who just really doesn’t understand how much power she truly has.
Oh no. For this lifetime, I am the one who gives myself my dreams.
Me and Spirit. We’re the team.
It’s not about me riding on the coat tales of a man or someone else.
It’s about me paving my own way.
It’s about me giving myself the dream (one of the many dreams) of having many homes around the world. Traveling and living different places, different times of the year.
This is about me and my power.
Maybe this is the lifetime for you to do this too?
Trained as a Marriage and Family Therapist