April 3, 2013

Since my Hugh interview I’ve also been thinking about this — why is it that some people have all this support for their gifts?

You know, like Hugh, people telling him HE NEEDS TO GET HIMSELF PUBLISHED.  Or other people I see around me, everyone commenting on their blog, telling them to keep going, telling them their writing is beautiful.

And then there are people like me.

Probably like you.

That don’t get encouragement.

Maybe a little here and there, but overall not so much.

Growing up I was really good at making videos, putting on skits, writing songs, writing poems and artwork.  Like really good at it — it was clearly one of my gifts, my talents – and yes, my mom enrolled me in art classes and dance classes (another one of my talents) throughout my life, but I don’t really remember getting compliments on my work.

Not too long ago my mom was in my apartment, she saw this drawing / painting I did on one of my pieces of furniture and she gave a compliment (was it even a compliment?  no) like this “Ohh… what is that?  Oh, it’s a queen.  Mmm-hmm.  She’s a little scary looking.”


Yep, that’s how it goes.  Telling this story just sounds evil.  These things / these criticisms are so subtle that you totally don’t catch them unless you are 100% aware and paying attention.  That’s the sneaky thing about our programming.

But I’m getting off topic / kind of….

So why is it that some of us need to motivate ourselves?  Empower ourselves?  Push and push and build our strength to build up ourselves, KNOW DEEP DOWN INSIDE we are good?

Whereas other people have their parents championing for them and random strangers they meet on line (which I guess that would make them “friends) commenting on their blog, telling them to keep going and keep going?

My thought with this — it’s my knowing — but then of course my human self is like, what the heck and that’s not fair (hehe) — but I think that for some of us, we are here to gain back our power.  Here to claim our gifts for ourselves… whereas maybe other people have other lessons?

Again, I don’t know.

I think that’s part the answer — or maybe all of it.

I just feel unsatisfied by it now.