April 28, 2013
So I feel it and I am seeing proof to it — I’m getting noticed. People are paying attention to me.
A lot more creativity flowing through me, a lot more videos being produced, much less restraint of how much I share / how often, etc – and feeling really good overall most of the time.
Today I made and released three new videos. See them below.
And a person in the Entertainment field contacted me. Wants to work with me. This is great news! Really great news!
But I noticed, I started getting nervous in my stomach.
Intimidation started creeping up. This person looks like a big deal (by their credentials) — the projects they’ve worked on. A big deal.
And I notice, this is where my fear comes into play. When someone who I perceive as being more successful or more powerful than me contacts me, I get all nervous. Fearful. Scared.
I was noticing this as it was happening. Talking positively to myself to reassure myself. Praying to the angels to help me through this. To restore my self esteem. It’s like I go from being super confident in talking about my services to people and in making my videos — to being totally freaked out, feeling small, feeling not good enough, feeling afraid when someone with more power/success contacts me.
Thoughts of…. if I do a good job, maybe this person and I will work together.
They can pitch me for TV gigs, movie gigs, and so on and so forth.
And then I’m like, Blaire this is exactly what you wanted.
But my mind went into worry and into questioning if I’m good enough… and do I really know what I’m talking about, etc.
It’s interesting to watch and totally unreasonable, because I see it time and time again with successes I receive from my students — I’m fantastic at what I do and I get people results, over and over again. Stand in my power.
STAND IN YOUR STRENGTH
STAND IN YOUR CONFIDENCE.
You can do this Blaire!
Praying hardcore for Spirit to help me — don’t want to block myself and push this and others like it away. I realize that this is how I’ve been doing that….
Check out my videos. And I will post 2 new testimonial I received. Really fantastic stuff!
All of this in JUST 2 1/2 months… so proud of my student for all the incredible success he’s achieved!
“I want to give special thanks to Blaire and Spirit for all they’ve done for me. With your guidance, love, and support, I have begun to see and experience things I now know I had only learned yet didn’t apply. You have showed me I possessed spiritual knowledge but not true wisdom yet. For this and everything else I am eternally grateful.
I went into my Heart Healing Program with the intent of finding out who I really am. I’ve always felt like I never fit in anywhere with anyone. I also wanted to resolve the grief I carried my whole life after losing my twin sister before birth. Through the program I discovered that I was using this grief as a distraction to avoid all the pain I still feel from the scars of my family and society.
I signed onto the Heart Healing Program because I got to the point that I realized I needed help with this. I had figured out so many different things as to what was causing my pain on my own but I could not resolve it myself. I was having so many revelations, it wasn’t just one specific thing. I needed help and asking for help has always been a big thing for me.
I chose Blaire as my Teacher and Healer – yes, but it was more like you were brought to me, by the Universe. It was a feeling that you were the one who would be able to help me.
Through the Heart Healing Program I learned and continue to learn some painful things about myself and my life, however I refuse to live in my ‘Old Story.‘ I now understand I will make mistakes but they will be more opportunities for me to learn who I really am. I also learned that I carry a lot of pain from my childhood. That my mother has been hiding things about my past. That I was sexually abused in some way. I learned most of my ‘friends’ were really not friends. I realized how I try to impress others to gain self worth, that I still care what other people think in ways I did not see until now, that I emotionally overate for comfort. That I spent too much time helping others and not helping myself. I hung on to bad relationships because I was afraid to face myself.
Through the Program, I started discovering my Divine Mission. Saw how I was trying to do too much in my life at once. I learned to stand up for myself. To be more in the wonder of life, rather than in constant trying to figure out and get to the final destination. I have been feeling the full emotions of losing my twin. I have learned that this is good in order to heal it. I have an understanding now that my twin has never left me and has always been part of me. I have received validation of letting go of my ex and other relationships in my life gracefully. I have started receiving messages from my guides and animal totems, laid the foundation for a healthy spiritual practice, learned to set up proper boundaries for myself, finding what really makes me happy and what doesn’t. I have become more organized, an issue I always had trouble with. I now see sad painful events as opportunities. I realized that I am not alone and never really was. I have come to a place that I am much happier “by myself” more than I ever realized I was. I realized that I am a leader, a “Number 1” and not destined to always be a “Number 2.”
I’ve started to eat better, lost weight without ‘trying’ or setting out to do so. I’ve started to physically healing myself. Recognized how many things I have used as distractions. Letting go of things gracefully. Learned to be more in the “Real Time” – the “Now” rather than rushing to some destination and being unhappy in the present because I am not there. Discovering what is truly fun for me. Increased my spiritual gifts. Realizing I am beautiful, I’m a “badass” — and I found what I have been missing, my identity — myself! Now I am “ME” — and I LOVE ME!!!”