July 8, 2013
I woke up this morning at 3AM and was ready to make my videos. It was like all had been processed and I was excitedly woken up — ready to go.
I decided to meditate, since I was so excited, revved up ready to go.
And did that along with praying and some in and out sleeping and fell asleep for a bit more.
But then it was 5PM and I was up again, ready to go.
I was having a hell of a time sleeping. It just wasn’t happening since I first got that wake up call.
So I got up, took a shower, got ready.
Pulled an oracle card and it was Serapis Bey (dont think I’m spelling that right) which happened to mean for this time go now, it’s time to do it, time is ripe.
So that was great confirmation and I was grateful.
Before I made my “white” videos I prayed and prayed and prayed some more. Very nervous. I tried to think positively, that people excited and can receive my message — and enjoy it and want more.
And I was nervous, really nervous. And I may have rambled a bit, but it also could have been guided. I’d have to listen again.
And then my throat got choked up but I kept going. The throat chakra getting dry and shutting down out of fear. Protecting myself. I rolled with it and let people watching know that it’s been hard for me to step forward with this message. I think that was actually a great way to handle it, a teaching experience to be a model for others to share a message which may be difficult.
And I noticed someone was watching the live broadcast. Really have no idea how they found my recording while I was doing it, but they did. Funny kind of.
And as I was writing — they were commenting. Three comments on my YouTube and one on my Facebook of them yelling at me. Kind of funny I guess. Telling me I’m selling hate, packing it as love. Something like that.
And the videos have been up — and I made all the videos that I’ve been thinking about the last few days. All the things I was struggling with I did. One after the next. I was on a roll and now it feels like no big deal. What was I worried about anyway…
And I feel great. Really accomplished.
New information has since come to me. About this opportunity for whites to heal the fear they have towards Blacks calling us Racist, a way of using that as some power over us.
And actually now I feel quite comfortable posting about black/white wounds. I’ve done it a few times today and felt comfortable talking about the healing that is available for all of us.
And I have loads of posts on my videos now. Very controversial, but I see it as a place where we can all talk. I feel love all around me. I’ve been losing people on Facebook (my “old” people) and gaining people on Twitter (my “new” people)
I am finding my people. I feel at home.
I’m having conversations with people through twitter. I’m enjoying it.
I film videos as they come up. Filmed maybe 6 today so far? I’m exhausted and resting and don’t think I’ll make another video today….. will rest, take a nap hopefully. I’m clearing stuff. It was a big step today, I want to appreciate this moment.
And each time I am filming a video I have one or two people watching. It feels good. Supportive. I feel official. I am official. I have important things to say and it’s being noticed and admired and appreciated and complimented.
Thank you so much.
And isn’t it “funny” or ironic since all of this comes at a time when I also receive the most criticism that I have ever. And it doesn’t bother me… because I get where I’m coming from. I understand the message and have a different perspective.
And on top of all of this.
Judge Alex started following me on Twitter. This is without me following him… he just saw me posting I guess about Zimmerman trial and decided to follow me. How awesome!
Here you go….
One of the highlights of my day…
Videos from today. I’ll just post links.
Trayvon Martin, George Zimmerman and Judge Nelson are all Lightworkers
For My White People, Part 1
For My White People, Part 2
The Race War Has Already Begun
Who Is On The Jury
What Actors, Artists, Filmmakers Think Of Your Race – White Hate
Day 10 – Witnesses Reveal The True George