June 25, 2013

So I decided to email the TV exec with more thoughts I had.  Or rather more confidently playing my case.  Because here’s the deal — first, I was told by my guides to go for it.

And now that I did I’m grateful, cause all that energy wanted to go out — be shared — pushed, the passion… and if I held it in, it would have been hard to do anything today.  Terrible, holding it in.  Bad idea.  Now I see that.

But here’s the second thing — I’m here to promote myself.

For years, even up until a week or two ago I’ve been looking for other people to promote me.  Other people to see my beauty.  To see my wisdom and to sing my praises — this must be some sort of thing for me to really get over, since I think it’s my default.

And I realized when I was out for my walk today, this is MY JOB.

It’s my job to have confidence and sing my praises about my work.

It’s MY job to proudly stand there in support of myself.

Maybe others have people who are boosting them up, but for me one of my life lessons here (apparently) is for me to really believe in myself and then confidently share it.

So I did.

And then I prayed before and after and non-stop — and now it’s let go.

I go into daydreaming, what it’s going to be like to now meet with his boss and to sell this show!  So that’s what I’m spending my day doing…

And before we get to that I wanted to share here about the G-d on my Side — and why this song/mantra came into my mind yesterday.

It was because after I got off the phone with the TV exec, I started worrying.

Big fear came up.  Not even totally conscious fear.  It was worry about what if they took my idea and didn’t want to give me credit as the creator and consulting producer.

Worry that something would be wrong with the contract, them trying to screw me or not pay me by omitting something from the contract.

And this is future stuff – future fear worries — but that’s why Spirit brought that song.

To stop worrying.

It also made me notice how my default worry and way of being is to protect myself.  To have this big guard up, a default thought that people are going to try to take advantage of me.

To not be fair.

Not have my best interests in mind.

So that was an interesting observation.

And I’m grateful it came to my conscious mind — along with that song and reassurance from Spirit.