November 3, 2012

So the other thing I was asking myself as I was walking my dog today was why am I feeling so much anxiety when it comes to this next video I made.  The next video in the “personal power” series, which is I guess what I’m calling it.. although the slew of videos I made do not have any formal name to them… they were just videos I was inspired to make… but anyway, the next video in the series is titled, “I’m Not Asking You For Your Advice!”

Yep, that’s right.  “I”m Not Asking You For Your Advice.”  Can you imagine how that video goes? 🙂

So the video itself and my worries about it make me laugh.

I’m able to see the funniness that surrounds this whole situation.  The “being inspired” to do these videos.  The worries I have about people judging me.  Me judging myself.  The fear.  The anxiety.  Plus the freedom and the freedom that comes with speaking the truth.  People’s reactions… my responses back to them…. the whole thing that has been going on lately is really quite funny.

So on one hand I worry about the video, then on the other hand (and usually the next minute) I can laugh about the whole thing.

So this video is another “in your face” kind of angry, assertive feel that my first video had about not being nice anymore.

I don’t feel that fire-y (sp?) passion that I felt like I was making it but the message in the video still very much holds true.

(Don’t worry, I’ll put the video on here even if I don’t decide to launch it to the world, although I do think I will…) and the reason that I think I will I am sharing with you right here in this post….

So, my fears about the video.

1 – It’s “in your face” again.  I know that feels “attacking” to some (maybe most) people so there’s a “feeling bad” vibe I have about doing that.  A sort of thing like “I’m doing something wrong” which again, I’m pretty sure we talked about that, that’s been a feeling and a thought… and even a comment or suggestion that I’ve gotten my whole life.  So that keeps me in this doubting zone that I have to constantly…well, not constantly… work to overcome.

2 – So I feel like I’m doing something “wrong” by putting out that video

3 – I feel like I’m being “mean” by putting out that video.

4 – I worry that this may “ruin” my business.

5 – Worry that people are judging me.

Again, all this crappy thoughts again.  Ugh.

But here’s the thoughts that came to me today as well…

My guides asked me… “Blaire, why do you want to put the video up?  What’s the good parts about the video?”

And I was able to answer…

1 – I’m standing in my power

2 – I’m sharing how I feel.  I’m being real.

3 – I’m sharing a message of self love for myself.

4 – I’m sharing my boundaries with others of what’s acceptable and what’s not acceptable.  Sure, I’m doing it in a big public way, but again, this is my way of being.  It’s my personality.  It’s my charm 🙂  It’s who I am… and besides, all along I’ve been sharing my videos and blogs with everyone in this way, so why would I be embarrassed or retreat when I am sharing this video about empowerment, even thought the empowerment may come in the form of what looks like anger to some?

5 – This inspires others to stand up to those who impose their judgment or opinions on them.  (again, don’t worry you’ll see the video…)

And that’s where the talk between my guides and I shifted.  On this last point.

My mission.

You see, my mission is to lead.  Bottom line.  Lead.

Sure I am a teacher and a healer.  But I recently came to peace (or maybe I am still coming to peace with it) 🙂 that my divine mission is to lead people.

And “my people” are people who have been accepting others “good opinions” on them whether they wanted them imposed on them or not.

We tend to duck down and be quiet when others tell us their opinions or thoughts about us or a situation.  We tend to take THEIR opinions as truths… over OUR truths.

And this is what this video displays.

So again although it’s teaching through passionate (maybe “negative”) energy, it’s still teaching… and I’m sure it will still inspire many others.  Those who understand.  Those who are my people.

And this is the heart of it all…

I got in a talk with my guides about mission and being guided.

I know I am on a mission and I know I am being guided.  I get non-stop signs from Spirit that I am being guided and being taken care of, YET I have never questioned something as much as I have questioned these new videos that again, were guided to come THROUGH me BY Spirit.

So, stop it!

Spirit said we are each here to fulfill our mission and how that mission comes it is our path to deliver it.  So these videos were inspired and birthed through me and I should share them.  Period.  The end.

We tend to think that we are controlling things.  That we are calling the shots… but really, Spirit is the one who is in control.  Spirit is showing us the way.  Spirit is guiding us more down our path, our destiny.  It is our job to just carry it out.

Again… period.  The end.

So for me to question, doubt, and/or censor these videos I think would just be wrong.

It’s me labeling something.  Labeling some videos as good and some videos as bad.

Labeling some messages I receive as good and some as bad.

Judging some messages as worthy of sharing and others those I should be ashamed of and hide.

But again, I am forgetting one crucial piece.  This has all come through me.  THROUGH ME.

And your work is coming THROUGH YOU.

It is a human thing to judge things as perfect or imperfect.  As good or as bad.  But the truth of it is that everything that comes through us is DIVINE.

Is a piece of g-d, because we are all g-d.  We are all Spirit.

So I can’t judge these videos.  And I shouldn’t be ashamed of them either.

I should be a “good little girl” 🙂 (I joke of course) and just share the messages with the world that Spirit wants me to share.

That’s it.  The end.

So, in a few more days, when guided (of course) I will share the next video in the series…

Wish me luck 🙂