Forgiveness

June 9, 2013

I just happened to receive a video from Tony Robbins and it has to do with blaming and forgiveness.  This is something I’ve been working on for a long time and it’s something that my guides and angels / archangels will bring to my mind to try to help me release.

But it’s been hard.

So many family members I hold anger towards.

But I know I need to release it in order to step into this new life.  This new me.

Tony shared an exercise that I’m just going to write out briefly here because it feels this would help me to write it all down in one place.  I’ll focus on my mom, dad and brother.  I’ve known this stuff logically but today it feels like I am in more of a feeling place in my body about it.  More of an acceptance place.

So what’s the problem?

I blame my father for being very pushy.  Forceful.  Strong man who didn’t take into account my feelings.

I blame my father for showing more attention towards my brother, spending more time with him because he was a boy and they played golf and sports together.

I blame my father for being an asshole.

I blame my father for being mean to my dog when he was disciplining him when we were growing up.

I blame my father for scaring me, not respecting my boundaries.

xxxx

My mom –

I blame my mom for being a bitch and never caring about my feelings.

I blame my mom for not recognizing my gifts, not encouraging and telling me how great I was.

I blame my mom for making fun of me for not having any friends.  Putting me down when I liked doing things on my own.

I blame my mom for not standing up for me.  For not caring how I felt.

I blame my mom for not listening, for always being in a rush.

xxx

My brother —

I blame my brother for being a conceited jerk.

I blame my brother for not including me.

I blame my brother for making me feel like I was a loser and was embarrassed to be with me with his friends.

I blame my brother for not being the brother I wanted him to be.

I blame my brother for not valuing our relationship.

xxx

CONSCIOUS BLAME

I blame my father for giving me my strength, for standing up for myself and for what I believe in.

I blame my father for teaching me to honor my feelings.

I blame my father for teaching me the value of giving intimate time to my children / and children in general — to focus on each one of them, give them special attention.

I blame my father for my sensitivity to others feelings.

I blame my father for my love of animals.  My animal rights activism.

I blame my father for teaching me how to set strong boundaries.

I blame my father for teaching me how to create a safe space for myself.  How to provide safety for myself.

(this makes me really emotional, I’ve been holding back tears, trying to let them out, makes me so sad)

I blame my mom for teaching me to care about and honor my feelings.

I blame my mom for teaching me how to recognize my gifts.

I blame my mom for teaching me how to value myself

I blame my mom for finding my true self and how great I am.

I blame my mom for helping me value my connection to Spirit and to myself, being my best friend and Spirit being my best friend.

I blame my mom for giving me strength

I blame my mom for giving me a strong belief in myself.

I blame my mom for teaching me to stand up for myself

I blame my mom for teaching me how to listen to people, to really be there and care for another, being present.

I blame my mom for teaching me how to be present with myself.

I blame my mom for teaching me to value my thoughts and my own opinions, not what others say.

I blame my brother for teaching me how to love myself.

I blame my brother for being discerning about who I bring close to me.

I blame my brother for teaching me how to value those who I bring close to myself, shall they see my beauty and value what I offer.

I blame my brother for teaching me how to have compassion for people who don’t fit in.

I blame my brother for teaching me how to include everyone, to never make anyone feel left out.

I blame my brother for teaching me about other’s feelings, for teaching me about having sensitivity to my own feelings.

I blame my brother for teaching me to accept people the way they are and if they aren’t nice to me or what I like to let them go.

I blame my brother for teaching me to only be in relationships where the person values me.

I’m going to print this out and read it, think about it and journal about it (possibly) over the next few days… it just feels like one of those important realizations and important realizations.