March 8, 2014
It dawned on me yesterday how I’m still hiding and playing it small.
Yesterday I submitted that Twinkie project which I told you about a few posts back. They wanted the Twinkie projected submitted through their Facebook page… of which I didn’t want to post it there.
This was signal of me hiding still #1
My reasoning? First it’s a privacy thing. Things on Facebook are public so I don’t want everyone on my Facebook to know where I live.
Fair enough. Privacy and security. Sounds smart enough. Good for you Blaire.
But there was other reasons – #2
I didn’t want to post it on there because I didn’t want people at my community to know what my business is. This means if I posted they’d be able to “snoop” into my business life. I don’t feel comfortable with this.
Ah-ha. Interesting.
Why not?
Don’t you want more business?
Don’t you want to be sharing your gifts with the world?
Yes.
But I feel this is private stuff. I don’t want people at my “home” knowing what I do professionally. it doesn’t feel comfortable to me. It doesn’t feel safe.
Okay – so it’s a privacy and security thing…
Noticing a theme here?
And then there’s this other thing that came up… #3
When I emailed the picture submission to the staff at the community I said, you can post on the Facebook page, but please use my first name only.
Ah-ha. There we go. More privacy and security issues.
Now — I get it. Facebook is public and who knows who’s snooping so I think this was all smart stuff, but there’s a bigger picture here.
I went to get a massage and had an idea for a workshop to teach on energy healing…
But when it came around, after my massage, to share the idea — I figured, why bother.
This is where I come to get massages. Let’s keep the private and business life separate.
Okay — again?
I think this is a wise decision, but I see how this is a theme. Hiding. Playing it small. and NOT WANTING PEOPLE TO KNOW WHAT I DO FOR WORK.
WHY?
Why is it such a secret all the time?
The fear is I never know how people are going to react to my work.
That’s the fear.
In my videos I’m outspoken about race. I’m outspoken about politics. Usually it’s the race thing that I have fear about.
But Blaire, when you’re on TV people are going to KNOW your views.
Your neighbors are going to know your views.
The people at the supermarket are going to know your views.
The people at your massage place are going to know your views.
The people at your haircutter are going to know your views.
And.. yea.. that makes me feel very vulnerable.
But I have to get over it.
I have worked on healing that — now I need to clear it. I need to be okay with who I am and have the KNOWING that G-d is protecting me with my mission — because he is. The greater the mission, the higher the visibility, the more protection.
But can I trust that?
When knowing people — and I — have been killed and tortured in the past.
Can I trust that?
I have to.
It’s the only way to my happiness, because again staying small and staying silent is BORING and SUCKS BIG BALLS.
Okay then….
Start sharing Blaire.
PS: I feel like I need bodyguards with me for my protection.
But again, I’ve worked on this… time to heal and release. Call on Spirit more for protection. I AM SAFE. I AM PROTECTED. I AM GUIDED. Confidence in myself and my message. I need to see people embarrassing my message, clapping and cheering for me, rather than having the fearful expectation that they’re not going to like me or be angered by it…. please help me. Thank you.