June 19, 2013

So here’s the thing about Facebook.

Now that I’m off of it, sometimes I feel really out of it.  Not many times, but sometimes.

Like tonight, I was in a group fitness class (pretty random for me) and the guys leading the class were saying how they are on Facebook.

I can no longer connect to them.  Not like I want to, but in the past I would have wasted 5-10 minutes of my time checking them out, looking at their fan page, etc.  Doing stupid stuff.  Okay, so I don’t miss that.

But then tonight I watched this really sad documentary called the Central Park Five.  And I felt like I wanted to write something nice on their Facebook page.  Well, I’m deactivated, so I can’t.


That’s weird.

Then I posted how I felt sad about the movie / the boys in that case from the movie on my Twitter.

There’s this desire to get my thoughts out there.  But then again, why does it even matter… the need to share.  The desire to share.

Everyone should see this film.

And then I was thinking — maybe I put my Facebook active but NEVER sign onto there again.  Post whenever I want on Twitter and it automatically goes on Facebook.

But then the thought — I’ve already done that and it didn’t work.  Facebook feels like it needs constant monitoring…

Then there’s the thought that as my business grows, wouldn’t I want to “show” everyone how many followers I have.  Isn’t that impressive?

But for fucking what?

Somehow I think “we” / business owners think that bigger numbers on their Fan Page equals more money.  But does it?

I’m tempted to keep it online to announce my couples intimacy program.

How about I go on their sparingly.  (but again, I wan’t able to do that — and I like how clear my head is now…)

But why the feeling / the need to broadcast this program… would it turn into sales?

There’s so much mixed emotions in having that profile and yes, I know you think I wouldn’t think about it anymore…

I always felt like I was talking to the wall… telling people about my stuff, but was it really ever sinking in?  Or making a difference with sales?  And how long was that conversion process going to take place?

But then the thought also is when I’m on TV — I should have a fan page available for people… gather followers.

But again, what’s the point of that?  For me, it’s not about followers, it’s about sales.

This is not high school or some popularity contest.  I’m not interested in that.  I’ve never been interested in that.

I’m also reminded tonight of how my mom said ever since I was young I was never interested in the latest technology thing — my brother would always ask her for things – but I never cared.

It seems like with me being off Facebook, I’m honoring that part of me that just doesn’t care what others are doing…

This is a rambling post, I know and I’m sorry.

One more thing…. in the past a person’s website would have a testimonial page and that was really nice to show your work.

These days it seems like every day someone needs to post something about your business showing you doing mass business.  Putting up testimonials.  Someone writing on your wall how great your work is.

It’s all about this showing off.

It’s like everyone, in order to feel important these days, needs to show others how great they are.  Needs to post a testimonial / picture / video, something of clients and talk about how busy and great they are.

We finished up our fitness class and it was time for group photo.  Why?
Well of course to post it on Facebook.

To show others how great this company is.

It’s all about showing off these days…. we all need to see what others are doing and then know it’s okay to follow along.  That that activity or place or whatever must be good since we’ve seen so many group photos of people going.

Again, not on a testimonial page.  Not just a few pictures on a static page… but now with Facebook, it’s like “we need to find social proof every day”

“Every day we must post of a picture of how hot / busy / successful we are”


I don’t like that.

Yet… I had to smile, because the workout was intense and I was thinking how I was going to post (automatic response) how I had just gone to an intense workout class.

Of course I didn’t post anything — where would I post it?  I guess I could on Twitter.  But I didn’t bother.

I feel like once you get in that habit of “checking in” and posting all the time you need to go through this wash — a detox, to just let that type of thinking to get out of your head.

And what’s the point of posting anyway if people just watch it go by.

I got a random email today from someone wishing me well on my trip to California.  Sure it was nice, but this girl had always given me a weird vibe when I would meet her face to face.  We were doing some work together and she totally blew off my last email to her, she never comments on any of my posts, and now several days after I’m off Facebook she tells me to keep in touch.

Of course there’s more to the story here — and just because people don’t comment on your stuff doesn’t mean they’re not paying attention to what you post… I don’t know, the whole thing is weird to me.  It’s like we’re all a bunch of voyeurs in each other’s lives.

And I tend to equate the “if you are not commenting on my stuff” — I feel like you’re ignoring me.

It’s a weird thought process…. again, just reconfirming, it’s best that I stay off there.

Okay.  Sorry for this ramble.  Time for sleep.