June 28, 2013
Now this may sound counterintuitive to anyone in the healing/helping/serving business… and it’s what screwed me up for, I’d say — a bunch of years.
Even brought shame, but here it is….
When I post blogs, because it helps me sort out something.
Or when I post Facebook/Twitter posts because I want to express myself.
I feel happy.
Very happy. Expanded and in joy.
When I feel obligated to reply to people.
To respond to their questions. To consider their thoughts, questions, worries, etc… on either of these outlets, I feel unhappy.
Obligated. Pressured.
Not in joy.
But I kept on doing this because I was always told — you’re here to help.
That’s the right motivation. You should be doing things and saying things in order to help other people.
Helping yourself would be considered selfish and then no wonder why people don’t care about you or want to use your service.
But for me, it doesn’t work that way.
I achieved one of my greatest successes, when I put up a website that was giving me something I wanted — to find my “One” (marryblaire.com)
When I wrote my blog this morning, that was to serve me. To give me clarity. To bring a message for me.
When I post today about the Zimmerman trial, that’s for me. Self expression. I think I may be interested in being a jury consultant. I’d be really good at it.
I do it for me.
Again, staying in my own energy.
Because if I was thinking — how does this help others by me posting about Zimmerman trial. I should probably explain more…. or maybe this is annoying people if I post… well that would give me knots in my stomach and I would feel that I better stick to my subject of sharing how to find love.
Again it’s that obligation to help other people.
But here I am helping myself… enjoying myself… and we’ll see what happens from it. And if “nothing” then at least I had a lot of fun expressing myself. And really, that’s all what it’s about for me. The joy of expressing myself.
But do you see how when I had it flipped around — the way “people” and “society” was telling me how to run my helping/healing/serving business – it was actually bringing me a lot of pain.
Do you get that?
I hope I explained that okay in this post. It’s still a new realization for me.