March 1, 2014

I’m feeling annoyed.  Frustrated.  It’s March 1st and rent is due by the 3rd.

Yesterday I didn’t have the full amount for rent, plus other expenses that are due on the 1st so I wasn’t going to pay on time.  There was no point in even thinking about it because I didn’t have the money.  It wasn’t an option.

But I manifested the money.

I was praying about it and also surrendering and the money came through today.  Miraculously.

So now I’m stressing a bit over “do I pay the rent” — or do I MOVE already??!!

So let’s go back to July of 2013.  Yep.  Almost a year ago and I was talking about this move.

Back then I was thinking I was moving to LA.

Then I decided against that.

Then there was  a settling down into my home and space again “waiting” for things to happen.

And then in January I was thinking it was NYC.

Then at the end of February it moved to Atlanta.

So what the hell?

Where am I going?

And when?

On one hand I think “waiting” is the most passive thing.  But I’m not waiting — I’ve surrendered.  Waiting — well, there’s that waiting term again – for the Universe to show me where.

But then on the other hand, there’s making things happen… but that could be an element of forcing one’s will and I don’t want to do that.  I want G-d to move me where would be the best for me.

I’m ready to move.  Wherever that is.  I’m ready to be in new energy.  My fears have left about doing the TV job on a major network.  My fears have left about the drive.

So I’m ready.

So I have 3 days to figure this out.  Going into prayer, discussion with Spirit and meditation.

I need to do it already.  But again don’t want it to be a forced thing.

There’s the element of being offered a job that I want/need to happen.  I want to get somewhere and have a job / purpose for being there.

AHHHH!!!! I can just scream this shit is so annoying — it’s been going on for way too long!!