February 4, 2013

Wow, what a day.  Some tension with things going on with a friend/business partnership.

I’m going to have to cut this person loose.

This person’s actions very much reminded me of my ex’s and so did my initial response to them.

First, I saw how I was doing my OLD pattern of accepting someone’s crap behavior in dealing with someone and/or dealing with me, in order to get their help and benefit from them in one way.

It was the OLD programming of “no one is perfect” and blah blah blah

But what I have been realizing lately is that I think the reason why I don’t like most people in my life (this is past thoughts and now I know why… as the pattern has been stopping) — is because this or that person acts like an ass, does something screwy that I don’t like or I think is hurtful or rude, or not right… and then I would accept it and continue down the road with them.

This has been going on because I have whatever scripts going on that I am too picky, or I must compromise, or whatever…. all that shit.

To look over people’s faults.

Don’t hold a grudge.

All that SHIT

So what happens when you keep accepting and accepting and accepting and getting hurt, etc…. well it creates a person who hates everyone.  UNDERSTANDABLY!

So now, I saw how this person was offering me some very good business help.  I really value this person from a business standpoint — BUT THEY ARE UNRELIABLE and the way they are handling other things in their life that directly concern me, turn me off from them.

I’ve lost respect for them.

And I have known this all along, these traits about them… but there’s the pattern of ignoring or disregarding my intuition and letting that “no one is perfect” rule my interactions…

But not anymore.

So now I am cutting them off and distancing myself.  No longer interested.

And yes, it’s kind of hard, cause the scarcity thought is that this person gives me good help – and where am I going to get this help otherwise and blah blah blah

But I deserve more

and I deserve better.

Everyone does.

So again, this pattern stops here.

In creating friendships and partnerships I want to be around people I respect and admire.  Just like people respect and admire me.  I want to be inspired by people, again, just like they are inspired by me.

Enough of this other bullshit.

And enough of friendships and partnerships that I think are crap or of me settling.

I want to be around people I love.  And I deserve this and again, because I am holding the space for this and demanding more from the Universe I know it will deliver.

This is just the adjustment period.