April 20, 2013

So a thought that has been crossing my mind many times over these last few months and maybe years is that maybe my purpose here on Earth is to be controversial.

Not like I really want to be.

I’d like everyone to like me and everything to be sweet and nice, but that’s not really how it’s ever been for me.  (and again, not saying it’s going to be like this all ways — but just something I think about and wonder if it’s the way for me and my work)

So when I was younger, I was always challenged.  This would be from my mom – when I would ask her or tell her she was upset about something and she would tell me no, I was wrong.

Then we’ll fast forward to my marryblaire.com website and that was controversial.  I had a lot of people rooting me on — and a lot of people confused, interested, debating it, etc — it made them question things that they thought about love and finding a mate and being single, etc.

So that was controversy.  Totally unintentional by me, but there you go.

Then for many years, nothing from me that would be controversial.  I don’t think so — and maybe it’s just cause I can’t remember.

Then however many months ago, I started this site.  But before that I started putting out these videos “I’m not being nice anymore”

and then all these other videos of me being pissed at people – and my students, etc.

Ha!  It makes me laugh, my passion and me getting pissed off about things.

So then that maybe settled a bit… I settled, cause I got all this awareness through this website and my journey with that — realized I was enlightened and that I was going through a healing and clearing with my business — like I had done with my relationships with family and love life.

And now I’m talking about politics.  About Lightworkers finding their voice, etc.

And now the recent videos questioning the government.  Oh my.  It makes me nervous, again if I think about it too much.  Not something I want to be challenging.  Fearful — cause it could be dangerous.  You don’t go after the government… scary.

Ohh and before that… I started going after Scandal, challenging the violence in their show

And the UFC, challenging the violence going on there…

So again more controversial things.

So I just wonder….

Who knows?  I really wonder.  And I also again, would like to know when things will settle for me.  When I will be doing one main thing, talking about one main thing…

It seems like my life path keeps changing.


Maybe Spirit is just directing… well, yes they are… but again, well… who knows.  I’ll know when it’s my time to know.

For now, it has been feeling a bit like, let me comment on this — let me comment on that — and the feeling of let’s see which one hits it off.  And until one does, Spirit keeps giving me ideas of something new to do?  Again, I really don’t know right now.. and I’ll just have to keep surrendering and seeing how it goes.