November 5, 2012
I find it a bit tricky connecting with students. I’m thinking about it these days because I would like to come to a comfort place about it that brings awareness, insight and of course peace.
You see, I like connecting with my students. I like hearing about their successes and I like being there to support them.
So getting an email from them makes me happy.
But it also makes me uncomfortable. A bit upset. A little anxious.
Why you ask?
Because on one hand I could spend all day and night chatting it up with students and on the other hand I’m reminded that this is a business and my time and energy is valuable. I am reminded that this is what students are paying me (or not paying me) for.
And again, this is something else you may experience… or may already be experiencing.
Many people it seems come to peace with this fairly easily. At least this is what I’ve seen from the outside looking in….
From my perspective, in my experience, this has been an ongoing question, “What do I do? What am I comfortable doing?”
For on the one hand, I like the intimacy. I like feeling connected. I like being there to support.
But on the other hand, I don’t like the feelings and thoughts of “you’re wasting your time…. be mindful of your time… be mindful of your energy.”
Now, I have had many spiritual teachers and healers that were very short with me via email. Like how you may be, I’m a talker. I like sharing my insights and I have many of them.
So I would email this to my teacher or healer. I would have loads of them.
This was a battle for me as well. The battle of should I email them this…. should I email them again…. they seem fine with it…. maybe they are… maybe they aren’t… I need to tell someone… and that whole deal.
Many of my teachers and healers would just be curt with me.
Either tell me straight out they don’t do email. Or not say anything about the issue and give short answers back.
These two responses made me feel upset and kind of uncomfortable…. and yes, a tad mad at them. Why don’t they want to hear about my successes? Why won’t they answer this or that question…. Some anger and then resentment would build.
Then there was a teacher who would email me back and forth for quite sometime, but I felt slightly uncomfortable about that as well… I would wonder, “Doesn’t he know how to run a business, he’s spending loads of time emailing me back”
I felt bad.
Then another teacher would do this with me and I finally said something to her. “Hey, are these emails back and forth okay with you?”
She said yes and if it gets uneven feeling she’ll let me know…
And then later told me there was an additional fee if I wanted support that way in between sessions…
So now in writing this out I take back my previous comment… many spiritual teachers / intuitive healers have issues with this. Very common.
So what is one to do?
Charge extra for email support…. which I’ve had the experience of feeling weird about doing this and maybe students saying “no” – which then would make my heart sad cause I did like hearing what was happening in their lives and wanted to support them through their whole process.
Or saying that I couldn’t email back and forth and I hope they understand… and dealing with my feelings of guilt, that “I’m being bad” or “not nice” – my mind winning out, the business side of me, but my heart again feeling a bit sad as well.
It’s a tough decision. One of conflict I have found…. wanting to hear the successes and be able to support and have a friendly conversation with students…. but then not wanting to feel upset that I’m not getting paid for hours upon hours that email can use up of my time… not wanting to upset the client… but also wanting to take care of myself.