November 18, 2012

I notice that I am butting out of people’s lives much more.  Butting out of their issues much more.  Butting out of Facebook.  Butting out of my Forum area on here.  Butting out.

It actually brings me more time and more space to take better care of myself, work on my current projects, be free — and overall have less or no anger and/or resentment.

Again, taking the role of being empowered… rather than the victim role…

I realize that I used to take on people’s feelings and issues a lot.  This is the path of the intuitive – more specifically, the gift of the empath.

But here’s the deal.  I have no formal arrangement with person x, y, or z to “feel their feelings” or “help them change.” And yes, the formal arrangement, since I am in business doing my gift – is money.

It’s about respecting their space.  Letting them work through their stuff as and when they want to.

It’s about THEIR LIFE… is THEIR LIFE.  And letting them step through realizations, reach out for hep, or not.  No longer intruding on other people’s free will.

I also notice how all this “butting into people’s lives” was a good way for me to not fully be involved in my own life and the changes that I needed to implement.  It was a good escape – and easy one – for me to focus on “I can fix your problems” or “let me get mad or frustrated at your because you’re not doing this or that” — when I should have been focused on my stuff.  (more on this in the next post)

So, the way this works is the people who get this place of me taking on more of their issues or feelings… more specifically, me being more invested in their changes and their growth are those of my private students.  That’s it.

My high end clients who do the retreats and the clients who do regular private sessions.

That’s it.

Otherwise, the people who come to me on Facebook, on my mailing list, or in programs like this… they get my materials.  That’s what they are paying for.  They are paying for the materials, they are paying for an introduction to the materials, this level of playing is okay with them… so it’s okay with me.  They are not paying for access to me.  They are not paying for me to give them more personal attention.  They are not paying for me to root them on.  They are paying for a step up… for some assistance in their life, but not for the full package of me fully supporting them.  AND THIS IS OKAY.

It’s okay for me to NOT give personal attention… whereas before I was putting pressure on myself to do this…

It’s okay for me to NOT be fully invested in their changes.. their transformation, etc…. why was I taking on this responsibility?  Why was I telling myself I was “bad” for not fully caring (usually more than them) to get them unstuck from their current situation.

All of this is okay.  My personal attention, time and energy investment, it for private premium students.

I got this before… I thought I was getting it before… but now I am getting it and implementing it on a whole new level.  Free of the guilt or blame or labels I put on myself for stepping aside before.

It’s not my job to care about everyone, unless they ask me to….

This is their life.  Duh!  It seems like the most obvious thing now, but before I was getting it all confused.

It’s a boundaries thing.

It’s a thing of me butting in too much…

I know it may sound horrible.. this “taking on other people’s stuff” – and again, I didn’t even notice it as I have been doing it since I was a child!  (Plus getting frustrated as a child!!!)  When I saw my family members making choices or hurting and I knew that didn’t have to be the way for them…

Again, the gift of being highly sensitive.

But I’m stopping that.

I see its how I’ve been draining my own energy.

I see how I’ve been making myself a victim in this situation.

I see how I’ve been making myself frustrated and angry.

Stop it – stop it  – stop it.

I’m done with it.

And as a result I have so much more time to do other things…. and this is related to my last post, the boredom I’ve been feeling… in the unknown… of just paying attention TO ME.  Just caring FOR ME.

I will say one thing… my eating habits are (FINALLY!) much better 🙂  More on this later.