May 9, 2013
Last night I had a horrible sleep. Kept waking up, uncomfortable, stressing about finances and my future. PANIC.
We’re having a lot of eclipses now so I know this is contributing to these things. Pushing me to change. Now we know what all those 555 was all about. CHANGE.
But I’m okay now. I have some healing stuff / tools I’m going to do, plus some things I’m going to journal about tonight.
Last month I got hardcore into the healing my fears and poor thoughts about money and overall negative thinking about my success and finances — this month is when I am stepping it up to the next level.
The thing that was bothering me this morning – the panic had to do with this… it was a question… how do I have compassion and patience with myself when I need money now?
That was the issue in my mind this morning.
Like I said, now, later in the day I’m feeling better. I have action steps to take.
I realize the magnitude of what I’m doing – healing finance patterns that have gone back MANY generations.
The pattern of the man providing and the women relying on the man to provide…
I was in this space with my ex boyfriends but what I’ve been doing now is wanting to fully financially support myself.
This was never an interest to me. I figured it would happen eventually and it was no big deal for me to rely on someone else.. my parents.. or a man.
So anyway, in appreciation of realizing how far I’ve come.
What I am doing.
The excitement of it.
And also the imminent success of my venture.
I always succeed when I put my mind on something.
And now it’s on this.