January 21, 2013
I knew I had blocked myself. I was on such a fast flow channeling my new book. It’s about my marriage and I was thinking it was about healing family patterns and becoming enlightened… and it is, just not in the way I had thought.
I didn’t realize this til later in the evening. After being frustrated and blocked for a day and a half as to how to continue on with my book and having trouble writing a specific chapter.
I went out to walk my dog. Hmm…. that’s weird. An earthworm walking on the asphalt. Thank you, I welcome the earthworms medicine, I knew it was a message.
Earthworm – When Earthworm appears, it is time to work over all we have been experiencing, a time to examine and digest what has occurred in our life. Then we can cast off what is not beneficial or necessary – clean house emotionally. This allows new growth. Earthworm also reminds us that no matter how small our efforts seem, we are reshaping the earth around us. The past (including past lives) influences the present and the future.Unless we recognize and acknowledge the past,we can repeat the same mistakes.Earthworm also cautions about putting ourselves into a vulnerable position. We need to be careful when before throwing ourselves wholeheartedly into something new. Do not react hastily. Work over the old before starting anything new.Earthworm reminds us that no matter how difficult things might have been, new growth and new hope awaits us.
I spoke to my guides…. or rather listened. You’re not blocked, you just don’t want to hear what we are saying.
You can’t write a chapter on the “fairytale” of how you two met because you look back at it now and you realize it wasn’t a fairytale at all. You noticed all the warning signs – the red flags – but you continued, you continued because everyone else thought it was so charming.
Oh my. Yea, that’s it. But I know I loved him. I know there was a pull between us. I was living a lie. What kind of person dates and then marries someone who they didn’t even like.
Well, this is the new direction of my book. Many people are living a lie. Many people aren’t even realizing it, like I hadn’t. Family patterns passed down over the generations of denying one’s voice.
I got it now.
I had blocked myself because I didn’t want to hear it. Fear of if I wrote it what would he think…. what would others think…. what would my mom think. She’ll be devastated. A riff in my family. I don’t know if we’ll be able to recover.
I need to let those go. I need to write and deal with these things later. Hand my fears over to the angels and keep going.
G-d please help me.