November 9, 2012

Interesting how I have been for several days been in the play zone.  Been in the “receive” zone.  Been surrendering — and then today, after I just wrote the blog post about sometimes following your life path is “hard” – how now, I’m hit with this fire of “balls to the wall.”

“Go, go, go”

This heat and this determination of “I’m going to make this happen”

It’s really a bit confusing for me.  Surrender.  Rest.  Relax.  Play.  Receive – and now, Go! Go! Go!

I think maybe that’s why I was being guided to surrender, rest, relax, play, receive.. because now I’m in work mode.  Doing mode.  Action mode.

I’m glad I followed the guidance before to play, because now that gives me the energy to DO today!

Hmm…. I feel this new type of passion.  Like I’m not taking NO for an answer anymore.  Like I’m NOT waiting around for anyone to “deem me worthy.”  I made a video about this that you will eventually see, it’s part of the series I’ve been putting online…. and now here it is on a different level to me.  This hardcore determination.  Unbending intent.

I think before I was waiting for others to “recognize” me.  For them to “deem” me worth of their time or for them to say my gifts have value.  Hmmm… interesting, I never noticed this before.  But now I’m like fuck it!  I have value.  I’m hardcore.  I’m going for this full out.  Balls to the wall.  This is my life purpose – I’m doing it!

It’s a feeling and a thought pattern of NOTHING IS GETTING IN MY WAY!  NOTHING IS STOPPING ME!

Okay… I’m off.  Off to work on and maybe finish up today (although not sure about that one) my “Attract The One” home study course.