June 12, 2013

There are a few awarenesses that I want to share with you

1 – People expect free information.  There are loads of free information online, people expect this.  You go to YouTube, google search, Itunes podcasts.  Everything – free.  You don’t expect to pay for anything.  Information is free.  I do this too.  Just sharing….

2 – People go onto Facebook, for what it looks like to get people to like them and/or make friends.  I know this may counteract other things I have shared on this blog, but I don’t think I really care about either.  Well, yes, I want people to like me — but I think I only care about it when I’m on Facebook, in this abyss where you can’t “see” anyone, it’s just a black hole of you putting projections and assumptions onto other people, who they are, etc.

I am tempted today to suspend my Facebook account.  I don’t want to deal with it anymore and obviously I can’t control myself to not sign on.

But I don’t like feeling like I have to respond to people.  I feel mean or wrong if I don’t.  There’s this fear to keep it up there because it’s good for business.  And that I’ve spent all this time to build it up.  But uck, I’m on there to make money.  To do business.  But instead it ends up being making friends.  Fake friends.  I’m not meeting up with anyone on there.  And I don’t want to respond to people for free, etc.  And I know this may sound bad, but I don’t care about people on their either — and I think this is obvious.  I only care about those who engage my help, who hire me.  Those are clients.  And that’s what any business owner feels, but somehow with the invent of Facebook we’re meant to feel bad about this thought.  No one would get real about this thought… but I am.

The more I write this, the more I feel I want to suspend it.  I think you can always re-activate it.

Maybe I’ll check it out.

I keep getting “simplify” messages from Spirit and I know it has to do with Facebook.

But then here’s the fear.  I will have NO contact with people at all if I don’t do Facebook.

But isn’t that something that’s good?  I’m forced to make REAL LIFE connections, which is what I want anyway!!

More fear… well I don’t have a TV, so what if there is some weather or world warning — how will I know?  I guess that means I need to tune into a news website once a day?  Yea, I could do that.

My management company would send out a note if it was real bad, I would think.

More fear… what if someone wants to contact me and can’t remember my name?  They can find me, like I go search for others.

Okay…. signing on now, seeing if I can suspend my account….

Let me give it a try.

It’s too distracting and too many mixed feelings ALL THE FUCKING TIME.  Plus I haven’t gotten ANY business from there, so fuck it.

PS:  Okay, just deactivated it.  Deep breathe in and out.  I think it actually felt good.  Freeing.  Deactivating means you can always come back.  I’ll leave it like that to see how this goes.  After I finished, I went to email myself my password (in case I forgot) and the number of emails in my inbox was 77 — luck, congratulations.  Yes, thank you.  Confirmation from Spirit.  I hear you guys.. I hear your messages…  thank you.