June 8, 2013

What I’ve been thinking about since yesterday is that I need to adjust my attitude.  Permanently.

I was able to meet Wendy Williams in person twice.

The first time was in Home Depot.  One of those moments that I was thinking about her — and talking about her a lot — and there she was.  Well, she was out there as ever.  And what I mean by that is HER ENERGY.  Most people, if not all in home depot didn’t know her — but she was still walking around with her energy OUT.  Like she was someone.  She was also wearing these crazy fur boats that were pink that made her stick out — plus the fact that she’s a really big woman.  Tall, etc.

I went up to her and said hi and even then she was with her energy out, I didn’t feel too warm, but that’s her personal life and she doesn’t want to be disturbed.  Felt like in a way she looked right through me.

Again, keeping the persona.

The second time, not too long afterwards, a producer from her radio show contacted me and invited me on.  It was awesome.

Same deal — her personality turned on — her energy OUT.

So if I’m meeting people like this, if I’m hanging out with people like this — stars and really successful people, then I have to have my energy OUT all the time too.

I need to have it ON all the time too.

It’s about the energy.  Movement.  Performance.

Now I’m not a fan of being fake, so I don’t think like that — but I can’t go from being insecure, to being fabulous.  I need to have that confidence turned on all the time.  I have to have the “it’s okay to look at me” on all the time.

No more going back and forth.

This reminds me of something that stuck out to me recently — when I met that guy with the sumo truck and he invited me to test drive it.  I was in my playing it small personality, my shy personality, my ohhh no, not me personality — yuck.

And he was like get in.

He started walking to the other side of the truck and there was no debate about it, it was just get in.  I don’t have time for this.  Do it.   That was the feeling I got.

So I was still at times the oh my gosh, how do you do this and this is so big personality — and it was like, just shut up and enjoy it.  Do it.  Go big.  Stop complaining.  Stop doing that small little girl stuff.

Now I know this is a different circumstance, but the way I acted stuck with me.  Made me analyze it.  That wishy washy personality – yuck.  Not good, disempowered — rather than I’m just going to do this.

The other thought that came from that interaction is the thought I’ve been having for a few weeks / months now, better dress normal (not like a slob) and better shave my legs all the time and put on deodorant cause you never know who you’re going to meet.

For me this was more of a thought of business and career, than romance.

But it all leads to the same.  Step it up.  Suck it up.  Be professional.  Be out there.  Stop hiding and playing it small.