May 18, 2013

So I’ve been asked for a recommendation from a person that did a mini reading for me.  It was a free reading that they had offered through Facebook, that I figured I’d take them up on it and see how it went.  It was fun speaking to the lady and I enjoyed the information she shared, but I don’t feel comfortable giving her a recommendation – it was a 15 minute reading and just confirmed things that I already knew, so nothing new really provided.  I’m not sure how to handle it.  This is what the email said….

Hi Blaire,

Thanks again for taking the time to let me do a free mini-reading with you! I really appreciated it!

It was fun for me to tune into “new” energy and I hope that I was able to provide you with some valuable information.

I would love to get a little testimonial from you, if you feel a desire to do so, that I may post on my website (I will add as much or as little info as you decide as far as name, your website, etc.)

I would love to know if what we talked about resonated with you and what benefit it may have provided to you (if any).

I also have one other question to ask you – would you recommend my readings to your friends? If so, why? (and if so, would love it if you did! Lol!)

Remember, you should have a link to a Full xxxx Reading at $xxxx off – if you no longer have it and would like it let me know! Feel free to use that as you see fit.


So I know most people may just delete this email and be done with it.  Not even bother, but there are somethings that stick out to me.  I will list them here

– She seems to be asking for a lot.  Many questions in this email.  I feel she’s asking too much for what she was offering.  Again it was a mini, very quick reading 15 minutes.

– She said thank you in the first line for me doing a reading with her, but this also struck me as strange.  The thank you is good, but then the “i really appreciate it” seemed to be over the top.  Here’s why.  It’s a free reading.  It was something she was giving to me.  So why is she thanking me for it?  Why does she really appreciate it?  It had the energy, the way I felt it, that she feels kind of desperate to do readings for people… just by the email.  I tend to always think more is better, but I see through this email that less is actually more and comes across with more power and confidence.

I think a thank you for taking part in the free promotion.  Or nice meeting you — how did you like the reading?  Or something like that.  Short, quick is better.

– She sent the email many days after she did the reading.  I had already forgotten kind of what she had told me and was already out of that energy.  She would have gotten a better response or a response from me in general if she had sent it right after she did the reading.  Not sure why she waited so long.  Not good.

– Ohh, just re-read the note above.  She’s talking about it’s fun for her to read the new energy… again, not good, desperate vibe.  Although we don’t want to pretend to be something we’re not in business, I see how her over-enthusiasm with me is a bit desperate feeling.  It’s probably better for her to share that enthusiasm with her journal, than with a potential client.

I feel bad / funny saying this, cause again, usually I’m all for sharing it all and coming from my heart, but that’s the vibe I get here — she’s not busy, a bit desperate for clients, etc… — this makes me re-think what I post on Facebook.  (a thought that comes to my mind regularly, ugh.  Just gotta channel that energy elsewhere.. that’s all what that means)

– So then she asks for a testimonial… but then says she’ll add as much or as little as I’d like.  (see above).  Ahh, classic Blaire move.  I do this too but now I am going to stop it.  It doesn’t read well.  Instead of coming off as caring, like she means it for those who are shy, it comes across (to me at this time, again we all see what we need to see at the time / reflections of ourselves or messages for ourselves) it comes across as insecure.  Like she wants a testimonial, but is kind of afraid of asking you for it.  Doesn’t want to make you feel bad or weird.

– Then she asks for a recommendation / a referral to other friends.  Again I’m thinking this is a bit much.  Do you want a testimonial or a referral?  For such a short reading she’s asking for a LOT.  I give her kudos for working her business, but I see it as asking for too much, too soon, when she hasn’t established much of a relationship with me and I haven’t seen much of a difference from working with her.  Again it was only 15 minutes.

– Ohh, and then she has a lol in there, which again goes to defeat everything she just asked for.  Hmmm.  This is a confidence issue again.

– The last line is good, promoting her offer.

So in conclusion.  I’m rethinking how I send emails after I meet with people after events.  How I send emails after I do sessions with them.

Remember how I was pissed in one or several of my videos for students not replying to emails I sent them after working with them… well maybe they felt fondly about me too… but also felt like I was asking for too much, or didn’t feel comfortable after just one reading writing me some feedback.

Again, I’m going to think about all of this stuff, as well as the info I share on Facebook.  There’s something to be said for enthusiasm for one’s work, but these days I’m leaning more to being professional through emails and Facebook.  Well, at least I say that.. let’s see how things change from here.

So I was going to maybe reply to this lady, although didn’t know what to say… but more days have gone by since I got this email and now I have other things going on in my life, so I’m just going to delete it.  I don’t really like being that person, but I don’t feel comfortable explaining anything to her about her email technique / what she’s asking for and I don’t have any feedback to share right now and that would be an awkward conversation if I sent that to her, one that would definitely warrant a few emails back and forth.  So I’m letting it go.  I’m writing this full post on the 20th, which is 2 days after I wanted to write this initial post but didn’t have time.  So much has changed in my life since this 2 days, lots of mindshifts, so I no longer feel the need to address this email, etc.  Just sharing my process and my journey with you.  Interesting and amazing how quickly things change.  Also interesting how now I’m ignoring it which was exactly what triggered me enough times from people doing the same…. Hmmm…. more and more compassion has come into my life for people and the reason why they do things… I will post on this later.