January 10, 2013

I notice I’m annoyed by people more than I think I “should” be.

I will take time to craft an email to share all the info that I can, thinking ahead of time what questions they may ask or what info they need, and the person emails me back saying that we’ll talk about it in person… or asking more questions.

I’ve set up a local talk with a group.  This person is the organizer, yet they keep emailing me asking me questions about location, about payment, and about who knows what.  I was feeling free of the organizing duties.  Feeling happy that I come to do my craft and someone else deals with event planning details.  Yet, this person keeps emailing me trying to get me to co-organize it or something.  I find it annoying.

My talk is about a month away.  This person just posted it, yet they are emailing me each time someone registers.  That I find annoying as well.  It’s not necessary.

Again… annoyance.

Why am I annoyed about these things?

I’m annoyed, cause I want this person to just take care of it.  I want them to be more confident.  I want them to chill out.  They have been doing events for sometime, yet they come across as very nervous.

There’s a fee for this talk.  People are to pre-pay.  So this person keeps emailing me saying where they posted the event (I don’t really care) and telling me that people are registering (great, but again I don’t really care – it’s a month away!).  They also keep emailing me asking if this person or that person or their guests have paid.  This is annoying me as well.

Now…. let’s get it straight.

Blaire, this person is helping you.  They are promoting an event you are speaking at – this is great.  Let’s appreciate this person’s interest and excitement.

Yes I do.  But also I’m annoyed.

So again, this is where boundaries and sharing unwritten rules of behaving with the person come into play.

I email them that they are doing a great job of promoting and that it’s still early and that we’ll talk about a week before the event, at which time they can send a reminder and tell people to prepay.. and that maybe we’ll charge more at the door to encourage people to pre-pay.

But they send out an email right now to people in their group that they need to prepay.  They even added that at least 2 people need to pre-pay in order for the event to take place.  Really?  You’re putting in that last line which was a comment I said to you when you were worried that no one would sign up since your meetup doesn’t get many people to come to events.  Not a good mood. I think that looks pretty pathetic.

It’s hard to share the full picture of all of this, but this person has high anxiety.

Chill the fuck out.


I say that lovingly, of course.

But come on, really.

And here I am able to see where my anxiety comes into play sometimes with events.  Wondering if this person or that person is coming… and what if people don’t pay and should I send out reminders, and blah blah blah.

And I realize, people can totally pick up on the anxious energy.

It’s a turn off if people are looking for peace.

So 1) the desire is to work with more professional event planners, who will take care of these details without asking my opinion or updating me on every move they are making

2) and to be more patient and trusting with my own events when I post them – holding the energy, being the grounded base, that people will come and will sign up.

Funny how today I was thinking of (again) re-starting a meetup group.  Those meetups are funny.  Some are jammin’ and I think most of them people like RSVP and/or sign up to be part of the group but then are lazy or focused on other things and don’t end up coming.

I question if it’d be a waste of money.

I also think it’s a good promotion in general for my work.

But I don’t know.

Good to see the anxiety about planning events from the other side of things.  I notice how it’s annoying and repelling.

Calmness and peace – trust and faith is what attracts.  I’ll make a mental note of it when I’m doing like this person is doing about planning events.