November 30, 2012

I’ve been wanting to remark about this for awhile but never got around to writing it… but here it goes.  I’ve been observing my behavior around other virtual groups I am in and around interacting with my current healer, as well as how I react to her offerings, etc.

What I mean by that is – I’m pretty quiet.

I disappear.

I am absent.

In other words… I like being anonymous.

I like my teachings and awarenesses and my participation in her events and her teachings…. as well as other groups I am learning from, I like to be private.  Real private.

I see other people freely giving testimonials.  I give mine anonymous.

I see other people talking on the radio or conference call freely to get advice or healing.  I like to be anonymous.  I use a different name or email in my questions.

There’s message boards and again I don’t post.

When I do post, I end up not liking what others respond to me about it – and end up deleting my post.  I’m not there for advice, I just choose to write my awarenesses… yet when I realize that however many people are reading my comments (possibly) I delete them.

So, with that said, a few thoughts have come to mind.

1 – I think I’m making this site back to NOT mandatory to blog.  I think I was also doing this before because I thought that members would stay members and on the adventure for longer…. now I’m removing this, as I realize that it’s a safety thing and a privacy thing that someone like me, wouldn’t want others reading my private thoughts.  Interesting how I do it so freely here….

2 – I question how I will round up more of “my people” if many of them (although I do realize everyone has different styles and personalities) like being private, anonymous, quiet – watching and learning.

When I sent out the recent emails to my newsletter I was getting many responses back from people I have never heard from before writing me very nice emails about how they’ve been on my list for very long periods of times and how much they loved me.

I felt bad by “kicking them” off the list…. but also kept to honoring and accepting my desire to have my mailing list be special with just my paying students or soon to be enrolled and paying students. All others can be on Facebook and Twitter and on my YouTube channel….

But again, it was kind of bewildering…. what I’ve always known, that many people are reading and watching my stuff…. but being quiet.

Well, in any event I made my needs known… and have started educating others what’s acceptable and not acceptable and how this is a two way street.  I feel good about that…

I’m just saying, with this post, I realize how quiet and private I am…

And how I don’t want to make others feel uncomfortable…

But also, there’s some concern / maybe fear of if my people are so quiet and private, then (yes, this is fear) how will my work grow if they don’t pass my stuff around, etc?  It’s a comparison thing, which is never a good idea, seeing how other people pass around other spiritual teacher’s work, videos, articles, etc and make frequent comments – so on Facebook and the web, this is what looks “good” and popular, that you have many views and many comments.

Still processing this all, but wanted to share…