November 30 2012

I’ve been experiencing a lull the last few days.  There are many reasons why this could be.  I have been tired, feeling off from the dog bite – maybe.  It’s “that time of the month.”  It’s been a full moon, which normally effects me – which was also a lunar eclipse, which makes it even more powerful.  There have been a lot of things going on this week.  Plus I’m taking a homeopathic remedy for my dog bite, although that shouldn’t effect – maybe it does.

So I’ve been in a lull.  It’s been hard for me to focus this week and most of the week I’ve been hanging around, not in the mood to do anything work related – although I have done a few bites and pieces here and there.

My new event on Wednesday was great – the Silly Stupid Event – very funny, out of the box, and totally me.  It was genius on so many levels, I loved it and so did the attendee.  And I’m grateful that one person came (although more people were signed up…) because this gave me an opportunity to try out the new material, where I was feeling a bit nervous and on the spot – since it was such unique material – for the first time.  In any event, I know I’ve been a bit down about my business…. again.

And yes, I see the pattern.  Me full of ideas, producing a lot and staying focused, and then being bummed out, tearing myself down with my thoughts.  It’s that transition phase, again, leaving the old behind and welcoming in the new.  Sometimes the new comes in so strongly – or I can feel it or see it so strongly manifesting – and then other times I wonder when it’s going to be.

I have had good news brewing.  Something on one of my big projects has been happening, but won’t announce it on here until a deal has been finalized, but that’s fantastic news… yet, I still play with these old, downer thoughts.

No solution right now.  No, “I’m going to do this or stop that” – I’m just sharing.

I wouldn’t normally write a post like this.  A “downer” post, but I think it’s important to share the journey, as you too are either going through the transition into your life purpose now or will be doing it shortly and I want you to know what’s really going on, so you can know you’re going through something normal.

I think the main thing I’ve been down about is that fact that even though things have been flowing really great most of the time with high energy, I still do feel it’s been taking a lot of energy from me – a lot of focus – and that has gotten to be tiring.  A bit too aggressive / male energy feeling… and I guess these few days when I’ve been feeling low I’ve been re-working how I am going to have a smoother ride.  I don’t want to push so hard and I don’t want to use so much energy and power to create.  I feel intuitively that manifesting should be smoother and easier –  but I do realize that it has to have more willpower than I was previously putting to it.

So now I realize, that I went from manifesting in a real laid back way to the other extreme of manifesting with more power, control and energy.  As I write it I get it… this week I’m moving more towards the center of manifesting with full intent and power and control, but not quite as much of personal power.

Okay, that’s good news then.  A good realization.  Glad I wrote this post 🙂